Dog Pet Peeves

By: DOgeNEWS

  • When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.

     

     

  • Blaming your farts on me...not funny.

     

     

  • Yelling at me for barking...I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!

     

     

  • How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)

     

     

  • Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?

     

     

  • Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

     

     

  • Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet...Why'd you buy carpet?

     

     

  • Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.

     

     

  • How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

     

     

  • Dog sweaters? ...... Have you noticed the fur?..... Imbecile.

     

     

  • Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. (Now you know why we chew your shit up when you're not home.)

     

     

  • When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?

     

     

  • Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out everytime we go back.

     

     

  • The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.

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